My Dirty Boxers

  It's always cute to look at these creatures but they're best admired from distance. Dey your dey guys. (Photo credit: Google) I’m not writing about hymns today; I’m stressed and I want to rant. In all you do, think about it twice before you ask for twins. I get the part where you feel good for having a set of twins but have you ever thought of the challenges that come with raising one? I can advise you from today till tomorrow, I know your coconut head will still ask God to give you twins, I hope you get what you wish for and when they come in their full regalia, remember to delete me from the list of people you want to call to rant to because I will drag you. So, my own sisters have decided to do wedding like carnival. Let’s forget the part where their money is not even involved in the entire plan, let’s focus on the stress of having to hand two girls out in marriage on the same day and, guess who their father is? Yours truly! Meanwhile, I know many people like to be a...

  There was a time in my life I used to be like this. Lining up to sing hymns and special numbers. I'm back to Jesus tho. (Photo credit: Google) Forget the part of me that can’t stop leaning towards “ shedibalabala ” and what Desperados has turned me to but forget, I’m a Jesus baby and I’ll die on that hill. You can “ yinmu ” from today till tomorrow, it won’t change the fact that I’m a child of God and certain things appeal to me beyond worldly nonsense. The past few days have been challenging and that’s basically on health grounds. My back problems came around again and of course, my ankle usually responds to it. One thing that keeps me going is the serenity that comes with hymns. I love singing or hearing hymns. One thing that works perfectly as my muse outside Jane Mena and all those things you’re thinking is the CAC Hymn Book. E shock you? My guy don’t dull, I’m very big on Christ Apostolic Church hymns and I can tell you for free that you can get me anytime through hymns....

  I hope this encourages you to keep trying, you're not alone and whatever it is... it has happened to the best of people. E dey happen. (Photo credit: Becca) There will always be days you feel better days won’t come; you stare into the telescope and you can’t see help in sight… No one is near to answer your questions and you’re beginning to lose it, I’m here to tell you it’s normal and you’re probably not going crazy. E dey happen. I see your efforts at work and in your family. Your line manager probably doesn’t appreciate you or your clients keep moving mad; no one goes on the microphone to applaud you when you get it right but they’re always off to the press to amplify your errors… E dey happen. Oh, you want to change jobs and no one is responding to your CVs? Or you’re even out of job and it’s beginning to impact your brain cells; bills will always remind you that Jesus is not a Chelsea fan and you’re almost close to forgetting the son of whom you are… E dey happen. You’r...

  The 2022 Big Brother Naija has been heavily criticized but numbers disagree with perceptions. (Photo credit: DSTV Nigeria) I’ve heard and read so much about the ongoing Big Brother Naija and most people that have criticized the followership have been doing that out of ignorance because I have raw data that reveals that this edition is the most followed in the history of reality TV show in Africa… E shock you? I can understand if you tell me you’re not familiar with the twists and turns, the dual rooms and what the designs look like. I can understand if you’re not cool with the housemates – many of them are silly trust me but you can’t take away the followership that is evident in numbers. As at the time of penning this, I don’t have the permission to share the data I have but once it’s in the public space I will. You might want to consider the fact that the number of times the show is talked about on all platforms count as well, nature of comment however doesn’t matter. Fac...

  It's harder than you ever imagined but trust me, the morning will come, the sun will shine again... Hang in there. (Photo credit: Google) You feel like a bird with weak feathers on a lean tree, no hiding place from the rain and the heavens won’t just stop gifting; I don’t have control over torrents but I offer you kind words from my closet… Hang in there, it won’t rain forever. The hours seem longer than usual for you? I’m not in your shoes, I won’t say I know how you feel but I hope you know there’s nothing new under the sun; whatever it is, it certainly has happened to the best of people. Hang in there, the morning will come. I know thresholds vary and no one deserves to go through pains, I might not be the right man to tell you how to manage this but, you’re not alone. I hope you find the courage to win this one, I’ll be waiting to raise a glass to your victory at the other side of the line… Stay strong. I understand the sky has refused to honor the course of nature in s...

  This episode if for people trying to understand their target market. I hope you learn a thing or two. (Photo credit: Check my previous post) Welcome back to Rambo’s marketing masterclass and today, I’ll be telling you why you should target more than the actual people and channels you think your services are for. I am responsible for what I say and what I mean by it, you’re responsible for how you distill or interpret it, e get why. You’re a food vendor and your channels are Instagram, Facebook and Twitter; your targets are predominantly men like me – a busy Lagos bachelor, busy working-class women and few other categories including folks that just don’t fancy cooking or prefer to have someone else do the honors… In your head, your targets are defined and you believe they will see your posts on the listed social media channels; you’re not wrong trust me but what gives you the edge over the other vendors on same channels targeting same people? Have you considered targeting “sup...

  I understand it's always sweet to order when you're not the one paying, maybe when you wash plate once, you will have sense at the table of men to only drink what you can afford. (Photo credit: Ramsey's iPhone) I just got a very interesting message from someone that makes me laugh and it will overtake the marketing masterclass for today, trust me you will laugh… of course except your problem is bigger than the story I’m about to share LMAO I’m laughing. This dude and I work in the same space, never worked in same firm but of course, experiential marketing is such a small industry where everyone knows everyone and you just might keep your fuck ups at the barest minimum cos it will never go away… I digress. Dude invited me to ideate with him sometime in 2018 for a very big gig; I came through for him but instead of him making me comfortable, he asked we go to a restaurant after the brainstorming session to eat, I ended up paying as he said his card was not working. Sh...

  This is me giving back to the community. Thank me later. (Photo credit: You should know if you're a serious person) Today, I choose to render service to you people even if you’re not paying me for it. You don’t have to thank me, I’m nice like that and if you’re a small business owner of you have a brand you want to push, grab your note pad… This is a masterclass with a touch of unseriousness. You sell items that people need from time to time but your IG is locked LMAO, brain is paining you. Except you’re a fraud like most of those girls I wrote about sometime ago, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice. Your nonsense principle will only lead you closer to hunger and I’ll not send you urgent 2k. How well do you know your target consumer? Who is even your target consumer? Where do they play? Who are their friends? Who are the people that influence how they decide? What fascinates them? What influences their decisions? If you don’t have answers to these questions, you’ll just b...

  Adulthood is full of challenges but I prayed for this phase and I will relish every moment. (Photo credit: Google) Life comes to us very fast, I look back today and realized I may have been wrong on how much I detest this adulthood thing; I had reasons to remember a few of my friends that we enjoyed childhood together from every city I had a story in, I desperately miss my childhood. I’m grateful for growth and that means I can’t hate adulthood. No one wants to be stagnated, we all want to advance and that includes seeking soft life; while we won’t all get what we want, there’s value in trusting the process that will take us to our final destination. I understand we all have embraced the fact that adulthood is a scam, but doesn’t that mean we’re ungrateful for growth? Walking backwards a bit, I had lots of things I looked forward to that I have ticked and I still say adulthood is a scam… I think I’m the problem. I always wanted what I currently do, even when family backgrou...

  I'm using this picture again and I just might one more time but where does this boy go from here? (Photo credit: Originally from Timini's status, now my gallery) The poor boy was still trying to process the truth he just found out, he’s probably too young to handle such and would rather prefer not to know; I’m not in his head but I’m likely to believe he wished he didn’t look for what was not lost but a part of him would understand why he gets harsh treatments all along. Like I said in the first part, the father called the boy and told him never to return to his house ever again and his instruction was premised on the fact that the boy already knows the truth; I was told the father apologized for the harsh treatments and told the boy to go find his father. I saw the story on Instagram yesterday evening and since I wrote about it already, I was interested in what people make of it and before I could go through a couple of comments, it already became a gender war with peopl...

  Ideally, anyone on this table deserves a reserved seat beside the devil on judgment day. (Photo credit: Google) Hehehe, I’ll finish the tale of a lost boy tomorrow but I remembered one funny gist earlier today and would rather share that today. I’m sure this must have happened to you or someone you know so, I’m not alone in it I’m sure you can’t laugh at me. Have you ever asked for directions from people and they showed you the wrong direction? It’s a thing in some parts of Lagos and that’s why the advent of Google Maps will forever be a great thing to celebrate because you don’t actually need anyone to show you the way anymore. I was invited to be a panelist at an event for some graduating students of Olabisi Onabanjo University sometime in 2017, I embarked on the journey from Lagos with my cousin Tunde John LOL and both of us are naturally geographically challenged, our road network knowledge was so weak we needed help on the way. We got to a roundabout at Abeokuta after ...

  This image explains how unfair life can be and I hope you can interpret it as you desire. (Photo credit: Timini's status) I caught wind of this disturbing story earlier today and honestly; I wish I didn’t. I don’t know what I was looking for that took me to Paul’s story, we had a chat about it and he was disposed to me sharing; these things happen actually, only those that are affected know. Many of us at one point or the other may have felt cheated by paying for sins we didn't commit, like having to bear a burden that is not our fault or whatnot, this story is a classic example of such unfair scenario and I just hope the victim here finds solace somehow somewhere. There’s this young man of about 20 years of age, he has always been troubled about how horrible his father treats him and no one has been able to explain to him in that regard including his mother that tells him the father only scolds him the hardest simply because he loves him. Just to be clear, the boy is the...

  These guys need training. That's what I will say. (Photo credit: Whatever mehn) It’s an emotional day, Latifah Baba-Ahmed is leaving my team and I don’t know how to feel. I’m supposed to eulogize her with a befitting post and this won’t cut it so I’ll leave it till I have a grip but send hugs my way… I’m hurting and I can only wish her all of God’s blessings. I just got back from a presentation with respect to the ongoing Big Brother Naija and it was an exhaustive one, coming back to the office to meet my colleagues holding a sort of send-forth party for my little pea is another point of emotional call. Security guards already messed up my day, they don’t know when to use discretions and when to use brute-force. I understand you’ll tell me they’re doing their job and it’s okay. So let me just share a bit of what happened to put it into context. So when we went in through the security gate, we had our laptops in the bag and not in the trunk of the car and when we were leavin...

  Mercy has refused to go to rehab and I'm not that man that will force her to go. Her story breaks me but we learn everyday. (Photo credit: Google) Up until this minute, Mercy doesn’t feel any form of remorse and, while I don’t think it’s my place to teach her how to feel, I desperately wanted to know why she’s unbothered even though her mom has been in and out of hospital since the saga started. We spoke again on my way to work this morning and I got the same energy. Just to be clear, Mercy thinks the Christian sister label was forced on her and she had to act the part to satisfy those that fed off that shithousery; even though that has always been the version of her I can relate with, she doesn’t feel that’s who she is. Here’s the thing: Mercy doesn’t have a problem identifying with a particular religion, what she has a problem with is being boxed to a certain corner and having to play that out all her life. It took me a while to understand and I just have to hope you do too...

  I am angry beyond words, standing in for someone is now risky as hell and you might want to review your decisions on behalf of people henceforth. (photo credit: Google) Mercy’s story will have to wait till tomorrow. My heart is broken right now and I can’t think straight or even feel up to it to share any story. My commitment to this journey is the only reason I’m writing something for y’all to read and I’ll just leave it at that. Know this and know peace, you can’t come good if you continue to defend people out of emotions and if you don’t have genuine substance to hold on to, potential is absolute nonsense and worthless especially in the face of raw evidence against productivity. I wish I can actually spill but it’s best I keep my anger in check and leave it. People aren’t close to the calm demeanor they post when they’re looking for opportunities and if you dare fall for how soft-spoken people can be, you’ll probably end up in jail for something you know nothing about. I...

  It's the worst kept secret, I work in a madhouse and I'm not complaining. (Photo credit: Google) Today is enlightening, you too see: I know many of you are expecting the sequel to Mercy’s story LOL, it will come but not today; speaking of Mercy, she called me last night and was just laughing like an idiot, she gave me a different side to her story and I honestly don’t know how to react… Not today though. So, it’s health week in the office and every single day I walk into office, I’m tempted to ask Olamide where she got every of my colleagues from; forget it, everyone in that building is mad and they know it, not a single human in that building is sane and guess what? No one is complaining. Sandy Mandy is back!!! I missed her but she didn’t disappoint, she’s back with the savagery intact, mamma couldn’t even disguise for a second. Wait, you don’t know Sandy Mandy? She’s the head of business at Riquesa Africa, she’s sensational and that’s on God. Back to the madness of th...

I'm trying not to appear judgmental but there's no other word for this more than deception. (Photo credit: Google) I spoke with Kene about two hours ago and he gave me the greenlight to share his sister’s story. This will come ahead of the other one I planned on sharing today before but this answers to your thirst too, albeit in a way that could probably break you down a bit. Kene is a family friend, his father passed away in 2020 and his death was very well linked to the infamous Corona Virus that ravaged the world two years ago now. Kene and his sister Mercy went to school abroad; Kene is a lot like me but his sister is the supposed opposite. Kene is fun loving, life of the party and your sure plug for everything fun. Kene doesn’t smoke even though his people never believed him; he has lots of smokers around and he’s always using vape so you’ll be justified to disbelieve him. On the other hand, Mercy is 26 and almost a decade younger than her brother. She’s your classic Chris...

  Happy birthday beautiful and uber-smart Toyin Adepegba, my good friend from Tinubu Road. (Photo credit: Toyin's WhatsApp status) Toyin Adepegba is 40 today, today is also my parents’ wedding anniversary and it evokes some nostalgia from way back. I remember how they celebrated one particular year, that shit made me start thinking of getting married at just 10… Look at me now LOL. This post is about Toyin, a great human by all standards. She was my first friend at Brand Regimen, she knows her job and has this drive that won’t let her settle for anything below her standards. Let me share a few things I copped from here during our days as colleagues. Toyin was the Business Development Manager at BR and later had to fill in when there was a gap on one of the Account Management Team, one measure of her success in that role as far as I saw was how good Joy became as her protégé, that counts for a lot. While I was the lead on decks and strategy plans, Toyin offered solid outlets o...

  Still on still, man's gotta be fine. (Photo credit: Ramsey's iPhone ) It’s a football weekend, I’ll be resting today without stepping out of the house and I hope no one calls me to change that… well, most people know I’m under the weather, they won’t dare. I’m on this couch all day, shuffling from one football channel to the other and while I expect someone to be kind enough to help with dinner sometime in the evening, I’ll rely on Minimie chin-chin until that arrives and if it doesn’t come, we move regardless. So, I have two stories I’ll be sharing in the new week, certainly not tomorrow as I’ll be attending the BBN eviction show and also attend Toyin’s 40 th birthday celebrations; Toyin is a colleague, one that motivates me, a spirited business development manager with all the vibes you need in a teammate. Monday looks more like it for the first one and I’ll give a snippet of what it’s all about. I wrote about the Jezebel of Magodo not too long ago, I think this new ...

  Happy International Youth Day to everyone that considers his or herself to be a youth. Peace of the Lord be with you. (Photo credit: Nino B's Status) It is International Youth Day today and all I can do is laugh at the state of things in that regard in my country LOL. The topmost thing on the mind of every youth of Nigeria is “ja pa” and if you’re being honest, can you blame them? You too see: I was watching Arise TV this morning and the youth leader of one of the parties, what is wrong with me? Shey you will beat me ni? Labor Party youth leader appeared on the show to respond to something and dude looked way older than my late father… A supposed youth leader. The country has failed the youths but, in a way, the youths are failing the nation too. I have heard the same set of influencers that were at the Lekki Toll Gate on the 20 th of October 2020 driving strong campaigns for the ruling party, supposed youths. I am not pitching my tent anywhere yet and when I do, I will ma...

  I'm popping pills like a member of Felipe Lobos' cartel but even the sun has a sinking spell... I'll be back. (Photo credit: Google) This is going to be all over the place, you’re free to draw any type of conclusions you like and I will understand. I’m not in a good place this minute and, while this is not a rant, it might sound like one and again, I’ll understand your interpretation of the post. I feel a bit lonely, maybe not a bit but it is what it is. I miss the days someone does virtually everything for me in this house LOL, not being able to show up physically at work today annoys me but I’m trying to contribute to the team from my bedroom; fair enough, right? I was going to write about Serena Williams today but after seeing Dipo Ogun’s eulogy, I have to wait it out so that won’t come out yet. I am hungry, I can’t cook to save my life and you can’t bant me with that, it’s a stale gist… Not like I’m proud of that tho. Having to depend on Mimimie Chinchin and ene...

  Ignore that thing on the left, I don't know how it got there. My hospital delivered my drugs, have me in your prayers. (Photo credit: Ramsey's iPhone) I woke up today with lots of headaches, I didn’t sleep well and I’m getting worried because I’m not that guy that breaks down incessantly like this. I'm afraid I must admit the nine lives I thought I had is remaining 1.5 laidis. It's been a rough week to be very honest, unpalatable news here and there and even the state of the nation won't let son of man be great. Will there ever be a point in this adulthood phase that one would be happy to say all is indeed well? Because right now, rat is crying like goat and humans be sounding like what I don't know. It will come as a surprise to one or two people that I’m owning up to ill health, I like to be Super Man and I try as much as possible to put up a strong front but I have to finally agree that I am sick and I have to treat it this time, well not like I have a ch...

  Biyi Bandele, the director of Half of a yellow sun, Blood Sisters and King's Horseman is dead at 54... Life is cruel. (Photo credit: His IG) I woke up to the sad news of the passing of legendary storyteller and movie director, Biyi Bamidele and I can’t explain how much pains I feel right now; for lots of reasons, I’m hurt and all I can say is “Valar morghulis”. I had a conversation with Uncle Biyi and I was elated. I wrote a story I shared with him, he was honest with me and the feedback he gave me made me better. I didn’t know I won’t get to see him directing a story I wrote or even screenplay my idea… I’m in pains. I was almost going to feel cursed; it takes a lot for someone like Uncle Biyi to be your man, I know I’m quite emotional but this one hits different. Ada Ameh left the other day and another industry giant has walked without saying goodbye, wetin dey happen gan gan? I’m primarily known as a strategy guy for experiential marketing but the part of me that tells st...

  My baby is 7... Happy birthday sweet soul. (Photo credit: Maxi Gold - My big brother)   So Beauty was disqualified from the Big Brother Naija house yesterday and I celebrated it, you won’t understand why but she should never have been there in the first place. I digress. Oh, I got lots of props for yesterday’s article LOL, I was seen as a Christian brother and many of you dropped comments but when I evoke my inner shedibalabala vibes I hope I’ll still be your friend, because I am not about to lose myself to your expectations. Today is random day, you too see; so, I have a new physiotherapist and I’m enjoying him, the days of female physiotherapists are over. Wait, Omotoyosi was supposed to be the new therapist but omo, let’s leave that part, it’s hard hiring married women shey? I got my new routine from my new therapist today and I was already drafting sack letter because… dude legit wants me to have therapy sessions four times a week LOL, uncle I’m not doing! I apprec...

  I'm in the mood to pray for you and I hope your faith is strong enough to connect to my hotspot. (Photo credit: Google) This is my prayer for you… May you not be surrounded by negative opinions that you can’t do shit about; people that can decide what you study in school, where you live, friends you choose, your partner to marry; if these ugly deciders are the ones feeding you or got something on you, what can you do? May you not choose someone that would rather be with someone else, someone that is using you as a placeholder or someone that compares you with someone else… I can pray for you but don’t be stupid dear, read the room and run off! May you not need help from people that won’t come through and still ensure those that can help don’t notice or listen to you; who are you seeking support from? Someone that stalls and then drags you away from those that can? Look around you. May you not be the one-eyed man in the midst of blind folks. If the people you’re currently ...