My Dirty Boxers

  Steven and his beautiful bride, happy married life folks. You left Bellerin and Fancy in this cold world of singlehood. (Photo credit: Naija Pundits) Yesterday had everything, from canceling on Steven and his bride, to getting a call from Slimee and the other two musketeers on a potential flight ticket – that eventually worked out, to a road trip that was quite entertaining and then some reality checks from Opeyemi and Omolara, it had everything. Thanks to everyone that reached out after reading my article of yesterday, I didn’t mean to get anyone worried but sometimes, even the sun has its sinking spell. I feel a lot better and would be back to full fitness in the coming days, until then… We stay jiggy. I remember a conversation with Opeyemi sometime in April where she used a particular line on me – “soul searching”, it didn’t make any sense until a short conversation yesterday where she did what she does best, sting unprovoked LOL but in all of the subliminal messages she p...

  It's a rant day and I am not done, I will be back with more rants. Thank you. (Photo credit: Google) Today is rant day. Thanks for coming and you can stop reading from here if you’re not in the mood to be irritated. I will not be taking any nonsense pity party and I will not apologize if my rant annoys anyone. Thanks for coming and see you tomorrow – if you’re stopping here. My back problem is well documented and not new to anyone that knows me enough; yes, I’m a scoliosis patient and it’s as bad as it gets but again, they don’t call me Rambo for me to deal with basic things – big problems only – crazy adventures only – mad ass tasks only – big engines only… You get? Thursday was quite difficult. I was in the middle of a session with my people when I figured my lower back got stiff; it got worse and as always, had to land in the physio. Yesterday didn’t bring better news in that regard and that’s why I’m angry. I’m that guy that likes to run away from verbal confrontations ...

  I will never forget that night in Bayelsa, no matter how I water down the story, it was a date with the devil. (Photo credit: Google) I knew I was flirting with death if I dared stood, the noise was deafening and the bedlam that followed would leave bodies behind; nothing told me it would be my last day on earth but within my walls, I swore never to talk to any woman again, we’ll discuss how that went later in future. I was still, cans and other items hit me but I must not attempt to stand. The mayhem moved closer to the gate and I saw an opportunity to crawl out of my hiding place; I was left with bruises but I didn’t stop, I kept going but one thing struck me that I will never forget. In the midst of all the uproar, normal service was going on at another part of the guest house. Folks were still going about normal practice and as I limped on a wall, trying to catch my breath, one of the attendants was asking me what I wanted to drink, “aunty I want to live, not die” If you ...

  It was the direct opposite of what I expected but it was a learning curve that I'll live to remember. (Photo credit: Google) Memories of my rookie days in advertising crept in today and I am still laughing at myself for some weird situations I found myself way back LOL; know this and know peace, I am still learning and most definitely will never stop learning. I started as a copywriter and even when I started, I barely knew the difference between writing love letters to Kemi then, or trying to be Hint or Heart Magazines journalist and, actually writing marketing communications copy... to win! I shared an instance with my teammates, the first time I was to present a plan to the client; I’d done the whole document and paid all the attention in the world to the ATL part where my supposed “great copies” and scripts were fully called out… There was this black silence in the room, I was expecting that to be broken by a round of appreciative applause or of course, some level of ba...

  I'm a bad person I agree, don't kill me with billing abeg. (Photo credit: Mobolaji Gold) I woke up this morning to a lengthy text message from a contact that hadn’t said a word to me this calendar year, asking for a loan of 100k and I was upset to the least of my veins for how insensitive and selfish people can be. Isn’t it pure witchcraft for you to bill someone you don’t check on? If you know anything about me, you’ll know I’m never afraid to share but we should know when to draw the line for people who won’t lift a finger for us but want us to go to extents for them when they need us and guess what? They always need us. Let me put it into simpler context: This person was getting the link to my articles daily and never opened for once, she even told a mutual contact that my links were becoming annoying to her and after hearing that, I stopped sharing to her… What is her moral justification for asking me for money when she doesn’t feel a need to support me? You don’t p...

  I purposely picked this image so you don't think I'm talking about any celebrity in particular. Rest in Jesus name. (Photo credit: Google) I’m close to quite a few of them on personal grounds and some on professional grounds and my stand is the same across board, Nigerian celebrity don’t really care about their fans and that explains why it’s hard to understand some silly stan culture. I know this post will give birth to reactions and you might think I’m talking about a particular person but I’m responsible for what I say while you’re responsible for your interpretation of what I say, let’s leave it at that… Okay? Good! I remember a follower reached out to me sometime ago on Twitter, asking for help; she said she was hungry and hadn’t eaten for two days, I didn’t think about it twice despite knowing many of them lie and make it a day time job to scam online, I sent her my 2cents and moved on. Just the next day, I saw same handle asking fans of Tasha of Big Brother Naija...

Tobi Amusan becomes the first Nigerian to win gold medal at the diamond league following her historic 12.06 world record in the 100m hurdle event. (Photo credit: BBC) I like how everyone is famzing Tobi Amusan after we woke up to her world record in the diamond league but how many people offered her solace when her dream was truncated in Lagos not too long ago by the demons of our land? Tobi Amusan broke the world record in the 100m hurdles in Lagos but was told it wouldn’t count because the electronic scoreboard wasn’t working due to power outage; you know that thing they say about Nigeria happening to you? She witnessed it first-hand. I don’t know about you, but tears rolled down my cheek when I saw the video of the young champion on the podium as she received her medal and Nigeria’s national anthem blitzed out of the loud speaker, not sure I’ve ever been that emotional about our national anthem, not even when the Super Eagles are playing. It’s all joy today as she danced to Bu...

  The Big Brother show is upon us and we're up and running, I'll be giving updates until the end of the season... Are you pumped? (Photo credit: desire) Big Brother Naija is the biggest entertainment show in Africa, I know I said that two days ago and I’m not sorry to say it again; I understand there are certain people that don’t see the value in it, this post isn’t for them and I’d love to give an analogy. I remember how some people reacted to Baba Adeboye’s teaching on marriage not too long ago; Baba advised men not to marry women that cannot cook and women to never go near men that cannot provide for the home, Nigerian twitter felt like the Middle East that day. Do I completely align with Babe’s teaching? It’s debatable but the caveat that most people ignored in that context was the fact that Baba Adeboye was very clear on who he was talking to: his children – people that follow him and his teachings as their spiritual father… He wasn’t talking to Aunty Amaka that wants to c...

  How hard is it to allow people to choose their poisons? (Photo credit: Google) Most times, people underrate the value of quality friendships and often blow up bridges until they need to use it again; people don’t mind burning ladder sticks when they’re cold and then make it seem as if the world is against them when they need to ascend, you too see. The most common conversation on social media today is that of people that will tell you they’re canceling you if you’re not voting their own candidate at the coming elections, what happens to allowing people to make their choices out of free will? I actually have no motivational talks for anyone today and I’ll align with Dr. Dipo’s post that I saw yesterday; if you want to cancel all your friends because they’re not interested in voting your political candidate, please go ahead and do so. If you feel your employer is stupid to follow a certain candidate you don’t like, fire your boss today! Sheybi your conscience is king, send ou...

  Don't sleep on the fame. Enjoy the show and go about your business without fuss, it's not so deep. (Photo credit: My email) Big Brother Naija 2022 kicks off tomorrow and I’m having mixed feelings. It is the season we’ll have hypocrites jumping out of their shell to say nonsense about number of BBN votes vs number of election votes; Why do I find this crap funny? Oh, why mixed emotions? Err… Not sure I can explain in details but I’d love to prove a lot of people wrong with our ideas on the show and also see how people enjoy the content that came from us; also, I’d like to see how the housemates deliver on the tasks… I desperately can’t wait. I wanted to wait till the show begins before writing about it but I’ll be penning lots of thoughts about it throughout the season anyways, why then can’t I start today? I have a few twists I’m looking forward to but today’s post is not about being a spoiler. Big Brother Naija is no doubt the biggest entertainment show in Africa, well...

  The story is not an attempt to glorify crime or violence, but whoever takes pride in stirring the hornet's nest should not guide himself from the attack of the bees... (Photo credit: Google) ...Mercy’s mother died before she could make it to the hospital, an asthmatic old woman in detention with next to nothing care was always going to end in complications. The narrative didn’t need any Nollywood scriptwriter, Karim was labeled the murderer by every ear that cared to listen. On the flipside, Karim was unapologetic and made all sorts of mockery to make the loss of Mercy’s mother worse for the family. One would think Karim was ready to take care of Jubril after wrestling him from Mercy, dude legit returned the boy to the village and word on the street was that his new wife didn’t want the boy around. Kunle stood by Mercy during this time and their way of winning was to destroy everything that Karim was all about. Through the help of Karim’s driver then – who was quite sympathet...

  It was a night to forget, everything could have ended but again... I live to tell the story. (Photo credit: Google) …I heard strange languages but from my three and half week’s experience in the town, I figured they talk like they’re angry at all times; every argument or debate is always like a fight with their weed and gin inspired voices but this one time, I knew the night was about to be a long one. I was on the edge of the not so convenient wooden seat; not like I stood any chance if my worst fear came to pass but I scouted around for escape routes. The first point of drama was a slight use of English in the rants of the guy that led the rage, I heard something like “kill anybody” … TK maintained beauty in the face of all these, she didn’t bother herself and was constantly telling me to focus on our date; I pretended like I was unbothered but my body couldn’t just agree with me as I was visibly trembling, the attendant that looked a lot like a retired militant came to tak...

  It was a night to forget but I live to tell the story... (Photo credit: Google of course) I was posted to Bayelsa for NYSC, a lot was going on with me health-wise then so it was indeed a tale of the good, the bad and the ugly. While I enjoyed every bit of the escapades, there were some consequences I will not be talking about. I knew I wasn’t going to stay in the city, I needed to redeploy to Ibadan to continue the good life but the week that preceded my exit brought lots of shenanigans; there’s something about Bayelsa people and alcohol, once the “something hoooge” I’m expecting drops, I’m going to that area to erect a facility that will see to kidney and liver issues. It will pay soon, trust me on that. It was a Sunday night, I’d met the daughter of the ruler of Gbarain kingdom earlier in the day… Based on one or two conversations, she was probably feeling the nigga and was going to take me out to see a few places; my pidgin wasn’t the best but I was prepared for the experi...

  Ada Ameh has passed away following series of health issues that were aggravated by the loss of her daughter in 2020. (Photo credit: Channels TV) I partied last night and it was a great one. I was out with the clan and we had fun to the fullest; I woke up with banging headaches and I know some will say it serves me right, you can’t stop haters from hating and I’ve been at peace since I discovered that truth. Since my father passed away, the part of me that cries when people pass away became largely numb and I just sympathize and move on; gone are those days I’d cry and probably fall ill because of someone else’s death but waking up to the news of the death of top actress Ada Ameh hits different. Life is fickle, I knew that a long time ago but how do you see someone one moment and the next, you’re resigned to fate that you’ll never see the person again? Seeing videos of the late actress from her page just yesterday and hearing she slumped not long after that is another level of...

  Congratulations to Senator Jackson Adeleke and his hyper active nephew Davido but what would his regime look like? (Photo credit: IG) I woke up to the news that Jackson won the gubernatorial election in Osun state and I can’t contain my joy, certainly not because I’m a fan of PDP or even the dancing senator, but because we are gradually getting to debunk the nonsense beliefs that our votes don’t count… We’re getting there. I have a few take aways from the Osun elections and I’ll happily share in no particular order. Just so we’re clear, politics is local and you need to understand the dynamism of each playground, a clear understanding of the peculiarities of each environment is a precursor to unprecedented victory. I discovered that the use of social media became a battle between the popular nuisance, Portable and fans favorite Davido, lol there’s only one winner in that; it takes only a fool to seek numbers through the use of a temporary comrade. Whoever sanctioned the Porta...

  Family is everything and I'm happy to announce to you that my kid brother is getting married. (Photo credit: Google) Family is everything, I am buzzing right now after quality time on the phone with my siblings earlier today and I say to you… Family is everything! I have three brothers, Maxi my big brother who lives in UK, my immediate younger brother BJ – married to Damola of Lagos – and Bennie, the numbers guy; we met online earlier today to discuss the girls’ wedding coming up in September. I’m announcing to y’all officially, my baby sisters are getting married in September in Ibadan; remember they’re twins? They’re getting married on the same day and I’m sure you’re wondering how many times they’re getting married LOL, what they had before were introduction and court affairs… You get? As I was penning this with excitement, Bennie shared a great news… He’s getting married and I can’t hide my excitement. He proposed to his woman and of course, no one says no to a true son...

  The weekend is here but I'll be working, courtesy of my colleagues... (Photo credit: Google) I was supposed to write about my Ballon D’or today, I had plans to share the feeling, excitement and everything in between since winning three awards with Brand Regimen at the Experiential Marketing Agency Awards of 2021 but the time isn’t available to expressly deliver premium content. Instead I’ll tell you how the week has been and wait till some other day to deliver my article on the awards and trust me, it beats me too that I have not written about it. I am proud of the awards and I always refer to them on days I feel low for confidence. The week started on a weird note, I will never understand the need for two-days public holidays on Monday and Tuesday. I already dressed up for work on Tuesday before I realized there’s no work, of course I didn’t undress; I sat behind my laptop all day to deliver Ayodeji’s brief. Resumption came with drama but I’m on top of it; mismanagement of...

  Funke Akindele will not deliver the numbers for PDP, I'll be happy to be wrong. (Photo credit: IG) Again, I have to talk about people who don’t agree with my takes on MY BLOG and as much as I write for people to read, I also wonder why people can’t jump and pass if they don’t align with my takes; to be very honest, it’s becoming really sickening. Fans of Funke Akindele hit my DM yesterday with series of attacks all because I laughed at the choice of their fav by PDP as the deputy to Jandor who is running to be governor of Lagos State. I’m surprised it’s not laughable to them but I said what I said. You can actually like someone and still give honest feedback about same person. The reason we have a toxic society is because we don’t tell ourselves the truth and we paper cracks, especially with these celebrities and the craziest part of this stan culture is that they don’t even know who the fuck you are. Seven people hit my DM to attack me over my article of yesterday and six ...

  Jandor picked Funke Akindele as running mate, quite interesting but Sanwo-Olu will win with a landslide. (Photo credit: Banky's status) I am an avowed feminist, I’m sure we’re clear on the type of feminism I practice so I don’t need to go over it for the umpteenth time but if you’re reading me for the first time, I am for the respect and protection of women and nothing on what bitter lots practice on Naija Twitter, you get? I caught wind of Lagos PDP’s decision to hand Funke Akindele the running mate role to Jandor in the forthcoming gubernatorial elections and I really can’t stop laughing. Again, I am glad that we’ve gotten to a point where parties can casually field women but Funke? Let me set this straight, with Funke Akindele as the running mate to Jandor against Babajide Sanwo-Olu of APC, it’s straight win for the incumbent and I kid you not, Sanwo-Olu doesn’t even have to campaign and he will win hands down… You too see. First and foremost, Funke Akindele is a known T...

  Mercy has seen it all, her next move was well thought-out. (Photo credit: Google)  …It was the easiest of decisions to make, a scorned woman needs all the space in the world. Mercy was not only bitter, she was also vengeful and had points to prove, she had scores to settle but she decided to pull out something special from the “Sharon Stone” books, pure basic instincts. After being released from Area H police station, three gruesome months behind bars for doing absolutely nothing wrong; she was accused of encroachment and threat to life, no one stood for her because she came back with nothing, all she worked for abroad sat with Karim who doesn’t even want to see her… In September of 2019, Mercy traveled to Ife to see her son and that was the final straw. The barely six-year-old boy was right there on the main road begging for alms, Karim’s mother was about 100 meters away, sitting by a burnt shed; sending the poor boy on the streets was her only means of survival. Most...

  Judge Judy cannot rival the premier league but she is now my second favorite show on TV and that's on God! (Photo credit: CBS) I’ve been sleeping on Judge Judy for way too long and now I’m awake. When Ebuka and Justice Olusola Williams mirrored CBS Reality show, Judge Judy and lots of people were criticizing the direct plagiarism, I was in their defense for a reason… We have copied lots of reality shows and each has its own audience; Who wants to be a millionaire, Naija’s got talent, Idols, Big Brother Naija and many more were shows that we copied directly so why not Judging Matters? Let’s be calming down. I’m basically here to tell you how my Monday is going. Of course, I’ve been behind my laptop all day, shuffling between tabs and making sure I’m as productive as I should be regardless of the public holiday, I guess my Monday has been programmed like this and no complains. Was home alone till BJ, my immediate younger brother knocked. Always a pleasure having any of my sib...

  I am going to enjoy myself today and wish you're able to do so at your end too... (Photo credit: You know na )   LOL, they want to beat me because I asked why we’re getting Monday and Tuesday as public holidays for events that fell over the weekend; rest is highly important but we’re lazy AF in this country whether we like to admit it or not. It’s the same reason why religious organizations are buying up businesses to convert them to worship centers and as long as you can pray, you automatically feel entitled to success. We’d rather work for two days and rest for five days or whatnot right? Nonsense. I like as rain is cancelling all your “outside” plans. I’ve seen three different hangout fliers announcing cancellation of events due to flood; if you can’t go to work because you want holidays your because you want to pin it on flood, your “ shedibalabala ” plans will not stand too. 1-1. I’m going to Slimee’s to celebrate Sallah tho, you can “ yinmu ” from today till tomo...

  Eid Mubarak everyone. Let's have fun and ensure to "meat up. (Photo credit: Google) Not like I didn’t know before but it’s also quite important to confirm again; the largest percentage of my readers only care about aproko gists and that was quite evident in the amount of feedback I got in my DM on my post of yesterday and guess what? I will make you all wait for the concluding part. Today is Sallah and all I can say is congratulations to all Muslims across my contact list. To those of you that suddenly became deaf and dumb so we won’t ask you for location, congratulations to you too but know that Christmas isn’t too far away. Last year Sallah was eventful as I remember it; Tunde Black came to pick me up and we ended up in Mushin for the business of the day. My Corolla suffered that day but it was worth it; I ate meat until my teeth sent me strong memo and guess what? Today is as blissful as last year… You too see! I woke up to a beautiful Saturday morning and despite t...

  Mercy suffered in American jail and still had to spend some time in a Nigerian detention on the instruction of Karim, what would you have her do? (Photo credit: Google) Karim got married to Mercy in 2013. It was a low-key wedding as she was carrying their child already and they just had to make things official on her insistence. There were lots of doubts on many fronts; he’s Yoruba and she’s from Edo State, he’s a Muslim while she’s an unserious Christian, you get it? Mercy had their first baby in the same year but their economy was so bad that she had to depend on her parents for the family to feed. Karim was into lotto business; he had a Baba Ijebu terminal and she was a college drop-out; she did a few activations job before she became a mother but had to stop when she became heavy with their child. There were few issues that aren’t peculiar to them alone but Karim was also a woman beater so there were at least two days of public tension between them in a week. They lived o...

  Yakubu missed this chance and things never remained the same. Have you forgiven him? (Photo credit: TheNFF) I love football so much, I have over thirty football jerseys and as you may already know, 90% of them are Arsenal shirts and despite all the vows never to buy again following the champions league miss again, I already initiated contact with my plug (Arsenal Direct and Sean). But football has hurt me more than women and I still find a way to go back to the round leather game. I know many won’t read this article because they’re probably expecting the gist of the Jezebel of Magodo, I will write about her tomorrow, I promise. It was the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, I was a student at Lead City University Ibadan that year and was full of hopes on the Nigerian team simply because I thought we had the team to at least make the quarter finals, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one on that train. We lost the first game to Argentina by a slim margin, even the goal should have been ...

  Peter Obi is qualified to contest at the polls as a presidential candidate but what is wrong with his aggressive and misinformed fans? (Photo credit: Punch) The largest percentage of those that read my post of yesterday were more interested in the story of the Jezebel of Magodo instead of the part where I had a difficult day at work; that tells you a lot about what interests people and trust me, I totally understand and it’s fine. Well, I have decided to delay the gist about the woman till tomorrow or Friday. I remember I said “sometime this week”, I didn’t promise today so no fuss. I saw something disturbing this morning and would rather discuss it today. A friend shared a chat with someone he met at a book launch about two weeks ago, they were trying to catch up and boom! Peter Obi’s name came up; this my friend would rather vote Tinubu – he has the right to his vote even though I don’t agree with him – but this lady on the other side rained curses on him. This isn’t the ...