My Dirty Boxers

  The gas is burning low but morning isn't far away... Still I rise. (Photo credit: Google) Days like this then the nerves are weak and the bones are crying for help. Where do we turn? When the finish line isn’t anywhere nearby but the flesh is not willing to go an inch further; when the night comes and you can’t find a pillow to end it in bliss… When the sun has refused to take over from the heavy rain, wet clothes on the railings, crying for some fierce radiance from nature, they say it’s the hope that kills but can you stop anyone from being positive? That’s not even in the script but do you drop your heads even when the odds aren’t smiling? The street is bleeding but you can’t stay indoors because the walls won’t stop scaring you, it is not your fault but what would you do? More like the red sea situation and the message from the guy in the palace, what would you do? They say good deeds always come back, but what do you do when some certain people only remember your digit...

  Yul Edochie and his family. What is your take? (Photo credit: Google) Ada asked me to write about Yul Edochie and his second wife announcement; I am not the type that teaches people how to live their lives, but if you come to the public space to tell people about loyalty and relationship purity, you should not be the one to flout the rules, here is my take. I see polygamists throwing the dirty carrots of homosexuality in our faces. Can you own your shit without trying to blackmail people? Yo! Two wrongs will never equal anything good; stop asking us to choose between polygamy and homosexuality; you have stronger leverage, think smartly, and look within; you’re not fighting to win. My worry about Yul’s announcement is this: Did he talk to his wife about his decision to take a second wife, or did she find out on social media? That can hurt and have severe consequences; I won’t go deeper into that; I’ll leave it. There’s a thin line between having opinions and being judgmental...

  I'm on level 10101 on Candy Crush lol, I haven't played it in two months tho, what level are you? (Photo credit: My phone of course) I will forever be grateful to Subway Surfers, Football Manager, and Candy Crush to a certain extent; these mobile games have kept me sane in dire times. Things often get hectic, and one has to take a break or allow the brain to cool off. Many employers understand this; they even offer to provide fun games in the office area for employees to engage in when the brain asks for a break; we can’t deny the fact that there will always be a moment like that. Idea block is real; as a creative strategist and a writer, I have found myself staring into space with nothing coming; we do get the bangers every time, we have moments we struggle, and that is why we have to depend on some games even during working hours. YouTube is one helpful tool, but mobile games have saved me and are still doing the honors for me. I discovered Subway Surfers in 2014 on K...

  The violence at the gym had a background story of ancient hurts, but the end was comical. (Photo credit: Google) The rage of the man on the instructor wasn’t even funny, but the twist was the fact that the men that held him at first seemed to like the way he feasted on the instructor; instead of holding them apart, they gave them some space to go at each other, it was a one-sided affair. I will not drag this further; I know many of you already understood the drift; I never entered that particular gym after that day. The violence I witnessed wasn’t the only reason anyway, I doubt the exercises were for me, and to be very honest, Elon Musk doesn’t have six-packs… We move. The melee soon ended, with blood dripping out in different corners of the instructor’s face; the other guy stood there, gallantly like a champion; At that point, it was beyond the venue, both men were dragged out, and to my amazement, some people followed, they wanted to see the end of it. Not like I didn’t ...

  I know y'all hate Judas and would never name your son after him, I won't either but wasn't he judged harshly? (Photo credit: Google of course) What is the hatred for Judas Iscariot for? Yes, you read me right; why do Christians especially hate Judas and relate every bad behavior to him? Someone is acting up as a back-stabber, they say he’s a Judas, someone pulls the plug on you, and you brand him Judas. Do you care to tell me why? I understand what Judas' act means to Christians; I know about the kiss that gave Jesus away and how people relate his act to every negative thing you can think of, but since no one got the opportunity to interview the poor man before he hung himself, could he have something he would have loved to share? Let’s take it back to where it started; the Bible is complete, with nothing missing, nothing broken, and chronicles the events surrounding the business transaction between Judas Iscariot and his business partners. At the same time, the ite...

  Happy birthday Aderonke... Ko ni baje baby mi. (Photo credit: Facebook) It’s Ronke’s birthday today; I knew I’d be doing this long ago; I gave myself enough time to gather evidence against the Witch of Rosewood, and I still find myself seeking words today; no be juju be that? I’ve said so much about Ronke in the first article I wrote about her, so, what do I say today “ laidis ”? Abi I should put up her details for potential boyfriends ni? She’s been adding weight of late, which shows she’s still as single pringle as always, cos you can’t have a boyfriend and be adding weight, e get why. Eh ehn, I remember how Ronke used to enter one trouser leg with kemi that year, it was always hard for me because Kemi was my boss and seeing this witch stressing her life was never easy to take, but who will tell Ronke that she is mad? You want to have nightmares? I remember how she was embarrassing herself on the foosball table that year, not sure she ever beat anybody, it’s only mouth li...

  I think I'm enjoying this controversial tag, or am I just riding my luck? (Photo credit: Google) Hello everyone, I’m sorry I’m coming late today; there will always be days like this; been busier than the third mainland bridge, but I have to drop something here to continue the journey. Three hundred sixty-five days is not child’s play, but I’ve come this far; I have to see it till the end. My original topic today was supposed to be about Judas Iscariot, yes! You read me correctly. I feel there’s so much to learn about that Nigga; while I feel he has been wrongly judged down the years, I do not think I will be able to do that tonight. I’m still basking in the euphoria of yesterday’s win over Manchester United. The Red Devils have fallen off the glory seat; they’re now more like a small club with a long history, that is a story for another day, but guys, you all see that I have tried my best to stay away from football topics, if Arsenal eventually makes top four, you will read a...

  I'm getting a tattoo when I have a daughter. My mind is made up, I will ink her name on my left arm. (Photo credit: Google) As at the time of penning this, the excitement welling in me cannot be described, and for those that know why, yes, you’re correct, it’s about Arsenal’s win over Manchester United. Today’s article will be the shortest, and it will probably annoy a lot of you as well, especially those that found my article of yesterday offensive because I called out the fraudulent idiots that hide under a religious umbrella to run us streets… Don’t be angry, but I’m not sorry. I have found myself navigating toward many things that I didn’t fancy as a little boy. Not like I’m proud of all of these things, but it is what it is; I didn’t taste alcohol until I was 23 and looking at myself now and the hipflask sitting pretty in front of me… Omo! You, I wear studs now, but that’s not new; however, I couldn’t flaunt it for folks to see way back; I move about with it these days...

  The Christian Association of Nigeria made this stupid demand, the question is: was this the message of Christ at Easter? (Photo credit: Punch) I know my disgust for Sterling Bank’s Easter ad is well documented, but this short piece isn’t directly about them; rather, it’s about some jobless fraudsters that have continued to use religious templates to defraud unsuspecting followers. What exactly is the role of the Christian Association of Nigeria and their Islamic counterparts MURIC? I’d honestly like to know if anyone wants to enlighten me; both are little bodies that have outlived their respective relevance and should be scrapped. I remember how the CAN president was accused of helping a past president to launder money and smuggle ammunition into the country; none of their members said anything about that. Still, they suddenly found their frog voices when Sterling bank decided to be stupid… Nonsense. MURIC were the ones that made a fool of themselves when Falz released a tr...

  I totally believe that scum has no gender but the story of this man next door tilts the pendulum in the direction of my gender. (Photo credit: I've always had it) It was an ice-cold night, whatever it was I was doing on Victoria Street at 11 pm, I really can’t remember but the events of that night remain fresh in my memory and I feel I should write about it on a day like this, simply because of a post I saw on a group this morning. I think I remember now; I took a walk that night because I couldn’t stand the tension in the house; my uncle and his wife were in the mood again and I wasn’t enjoying it, I remember Titoluwani (their first son) asked me what was wrong with his parents, I didn’t have an answer… Story for another day. I was a few blocks away from the house, it was a long road with crazy slopes and I wasn’t exactly enjoying the wind because I was walking against it, I think I fell twice in the process but I forgot that immediately I got to TEM hotel, it was four block...

  Here's the sequel to the violence in the gym story, I have decided to tell the story to make y'all wait again, you can't beat me "tongue out". (Photo credit: One WhatsApp group like that) …I established it already, I don’t like confrontations, and if it’s getting out of hand verbally, you’d see me limping off in no time. I was very close to the exit door, but I also knew that if I missed the show firsthand, no one would give me reports vividly; I had to stay a bit. Many of you threatened to cancel my blog if I didn’t return today with the balance of the gym violence; not like I was afraid of you all, but I already had plans of sharing today. I don’t negotiate with terrorists, don’t confuse this episode for victory; I just choose to share it today. In situations like this, the feeling is always crazy on either side; the instructor wanted to equalize, he couldn’t stand the humiliation right in the presence of all the ladies that adore him, his eyes were red, f...

  This was the ad Sterling Bank ran on Easter Sunday, they followed up with an apology creative that suggests that they had it all planned before, it's a criminal offense and their apology doesn't erode their stupidity. (Photo credit: Sterling Bank) Sterling Bank is known for controversy, they’re taking the “Gen Z” appellations quite literally and while I have no problems with that, there has to be a point where they learn when to respect some certain boundaries, classic example of this is their failed Easter ad. Sterling Bank ran an Easter ad that likened the resurrection of Jesus Christ to the process of making “Agege bread”, I can understand their goal, to spark conversations and get people to engage their brand throughout the festive season, they chose a silly route. As a copywriter, I worked on the #BankWars series; I’m quite troublesome in that regard and likes to play with words, it was a no-brainer for me to jump on it when I was invited to the gig, that was a diffe...

  The video of the Chrisland school kids performing sexual acts is nothing but pure Sodomy, where do we go from here? (Photo credit: Shutter Stock) The internet has been frustrating of late, for lots of reasons and I can’t pretend to un-see the latest one – the Chrisland school madness on a Dubai trip. I know most of you are waiting for the part two of the gym violence, I was honestly going to continue the story today but the video I saw, of a ten-year-old girl doing stuff with boys of his age group threw me off grid. I’m aware that there are more footages than the one I saw but I can’t can anymore. Everything is wrong with our society and no one is even free of blames. I’ve seen too many questions surrounding the Chrisland school incident, from people you’ll ordinarily expect better from and I wonder where our future truly lies at the rate at which we’re sliding down the curve. Expect the recent alibi to rise to people’s rescue here, “who never fuck up hands in the air”, you...

  I know it's Easter but I must call you people out for turning your backs on my article of the other day about Miracle in Cell no 7, repent. Happy Easter. (Photo credit: My hard drive) I figured many of you are waiting for the sequel of yesterday’s story, I will make you people wait and that is because you all are not good people, you too see. I wrote about my take on the 2019 movie, Miracle in Cell no. 7 and you people didn’t read it because the headline suggested I bashed the movie, but did I? You people don’t know how to take jokes and I have to tell it to your faces, besides am I not entitled to my opinion? Anyways, happy Easter to you all from me and my dirty boxers. I hope the power of resurrection brings back to you every good thing that lacks life around you. I also hope you’re not making Jesus sit in one corner, wondering why he risked it all for you. Don’t go and do nonsense and then come back to deafen us with “who never fuck up hand in the air” nonsense, I will s...

  I understand the awkwardness at gyms with instructors and the opposite gender, this experience at Reedaniels gym leaves me wondering... (Photo credit: 19kickers) The gym was two streets away from me, I’d gone to register a day before on a one-month subscription. The idea was to strengthen my left limbs and have some presence at the upper body region, I won’t go into further details, feel free to draw conclusions. The gym instructor wasn’t exactly friendly and that was the first red flag, I figured we’d had an altercation before; it was at the three-star hotel, right opposite the gym, the same management runs both businesses and at the time, it was a buzzing hub. The altercation came weeks before the official meet up. It was over a football match, he was there to support his club against mine and under such circumstance, we’ll always have opposite views. His attitude when I went to register suggested that he had a few ideas up his head but kin lo kan iru awa yii ? Saturday m...

  GT has given the album a really suggestive title, LAZARUS, looks like someone is back from the dead. (Photo credit: GT Da GuitarMan) It was at the Made Men event in 2008, I was pumped to the depth of my soul, minding my steps so I don’t fall or over-do things. My uncle had taken me to the event to meet Obi Asika of the now defunct Storm Records, it was a big night for me. Dreamer was the hit song by GT The Guitar Man at that time, he was arguably the next big thing, with the voice, the rhythm and his energy. His intelligence at interviews and his immaculate performances especially on his guitar, I’d have bet everything I had that he’d rule for decades. GT and I spoke briefly on the night, exchanged contacts and I moved on to other acts on the night, from Naeto C, to Ikechukwu, Sasha P and Jazzman Olofin. My Express Music Nokia had screen defects so I couldn’t take pictures but the ones in my head remain NFT worthy till date. I didn’t cut it with Storm Records, I think I wro...

  The smile that follows a very dark hour, like seed... Still I rise. (Photo credit: Ramsey's iPhone) …I looked into the eyes of their motivational speaker, I smiled and looked away. I saw optimism and confidence in his eyes that he has won the battle, he didn’t know I was trying hard to stay civil with him but in the end, I got to realize that not everyone has my kinda positive attitude to life. This is the sequel to the story of Igbobi hospital people trying to amputate my ankle because of my incessant breakdowns, you can’t exactly blame them, even an employer turned his back on me because of same but the confidence of Rambo never goes away so we stay fighting… It was arguably the darkest hour of my life, lots of questions running through my mind but there was something that remained constant, my positive attitude. I was so sure that no matter what happens, I'd still be the best version of myself available, glad I live to tell the story... Iyalaya anybody. In case you mis...

  Miracle in cell no. 7 was a fine movie but I consider it overrated. Feel free to balance me. (Photo credit: Netflix) Miracle in Cell no. 7 is as absurd as it sounds, a Turkish movie that was about an imprisoned mentally-impaired man and his adorable daughter. It was about the cruelty of humans in the corridors of power as well as the compassion in men. If you haven’t seen this movie, I’d advise you do for two reasons: basically, to understand my review and to approve or disprove one of my main points on this review, which is the fact that I saw the movie from beginning to the end and still didn’t get the part that got people crying. No, I didn’t cry and for an emotional man like me, I wouldn’t understand the social media outrage and the campaign for people to shed tears after seeing the movie. Yes, it was an emotional story but it didn’t draw tears from my eyes. I won’t deny the fact that I had goosebumps but no tears. Let me state categorically that as much as I like the m...

  I can't invest my money in Water Dispenser, it's a waste of time but that's not the only item I don't fancy. (Photo credit: Google) I know some inventions are meant to make our lives easier but no matter how much I try, I just don’t get along with some and I have decided to talk about them today. Trust me you’ll look at the list and call me weird but remember we’re not all wired the same way so cut me some friendly slacks. I’ve heard someone say she doesn’t like AC, she’d rather a fan that rotates yen yen yen but it’s the power supply situation that makes me consider fan at all because it gives me running nose, this is to show that there are some things you might like that I just might not be able to relate with. There are three items that people fancy that I, Ramsey Abimbola Gold will never invest my money in (again), some I have tried before and one of the three I have clinically avoided; you’d have some ideas of why I don’t like one but you’d be tempted to ques...

  Adebukola, the Peridot of our time. I hope to see your exploits on BR's social media account. (Photo credit: BRSFS on IG) I’ve always thrived in a workplace where beautiful women share workstations with me, and I have always been vocal about it, today I wish to bring you the sequel to the women of BR that I once wrote about, you can read about it here if you missed it:  The women of BR... Part 1 (mydirtyboxers.blogspot.com) I have subbed Yinka a couple of times without really saying much about her, she’s the baby girl of BR, always looking at the time towards closing time because she has a date, but trust her to come the next morning to remind you of the fact that she’s single… No be juju be that? Yinka works on the Blue account, she manages brand promoters and events alongside Habibat and I can say for a fact that she’s a lot nicer than the latter; she knows how to give cooler responses and while that can be soothing to the recipients, they hold no water because she won...

  The marriage institution is only beautiful when you're with the right partner, walking away alive is better than dying in misery. (Photo credit: Google) I’ve spoken about my fear of divorce a couple of times and even referenced a very close family, I see the need to write about this topic again, and this time, I have to go with the handbrakes off and even sub some people I know personally that have decided to die in slavery. I have never been married, I know someone will say it’s not my place to talk about what I have never experienced but my parents were married for 37 years before my father passed away and I never saw him beat my mother once, I also have a few other examples so miss me with the experience nonsense. The gospel singer that died wasn’t the only one enduring an abusive marriage, the worst ones are the church-related families where someone will remind you that God hates divorce, where is “for better for worse” written in the bible that you carry about? Can you s...