My first ever Chinese restaurant experience

 

I understand the concept of individual differences but kindly excuse me from your Chinese restaurant dates. Thank you and God bless. (Photo credit: Yin Yang)

I have a very volatile tummy, I eat on average once a day, and those that know me know how toxic the relationship between me and food is but my first experience of Chinese food left me with a phobia that I have never been able to overcome.

Precious and I were at Yin Yang on Friday, I made sure I clinically avoided eating anything because I wasn’t about to make my weekend a horrible one with a running stomach as I didn’t trust my tummy enough to handle whatever the Chinese restaurant had to offer.

This first experience dates back to sometime in 2008. I attended a meeting with my uncle Hulk somewhere in Maryland and after he was done with the meeting, his host asked we stopped by a nearby restaurant; on that fateful day, their pick was a Chinese restaurant on Mobolaji Bank-Anthony.

My uncle enjoys throwing shades, it runs in the family. He jokingly reminded me we’re not at an Amala joint but of course, the son of man has to fit in regardless. I remember the name of the pretty nonsense I was fed, it was called “sweet n sour”.

The meal wasn’t sweet one bit but I tried to swallow it as best as I could and maintained beauty. My mobile phone then was a partially blind Nokia Express Music, was it Mojai or Hulk that gave me the phone? I can’t remember but it must be one of them, na dem dey sponsor me that year.

Signals hit my bowels, and my intestines responded with “heyday”; I realized how much danger I could be in because my uncle could be a full-time job sometimes – we can branch about five places before we get home whenever we go out together, I didn’t take chances.

I rushed to their restroom and there and then, I knew I was in trouble. Twice I tried leaving the restroom and, on both occasions, I felt a rush and had to use the toilet again. My uncle caught wind of my situation and didn’t do much help LOL, I got back home in one piece anyways.

I’ve had Chinese delicacies several times but not without caution. I ensure they’re always packed for me to take away and I prepare Flagyl as proper mitigation. I can’t wake up randomly and crave Chinese food, never! And before you tell me I’m missing, I’m happy to tell you same to you in Jesus name.