My Dirty Boxers

People will leave you wondering if you're abnormal, omo iya mi, ma fo, na dem be the problem not you. Oya stay jiggy make we enter road. (Photo credit: Google)   “When you’re losing a tug of war to a tiger, release the rope before it gets to your arm; you can always get another rope, of course, except if you want prosthetics; you don’t want another arm.” - Ancient Chinese proverb remixed by Rambo. 2023 taught me a lot, and one of them is this: “If that person looks too good to be true, don’t force it; the person is certainly a fraud." And this rings true for everything. Whether living or non-living, don’t force it; it’s too good to be true. I was going to write about Precious, but I realized it’s a waste of time. Someone would text or call to tell me I’m pained, and it would get me emotional. I’d rather leave it as it is and sweep it under the rug like I always do. No worries on this one. Lesson number 1 from 2023: Tomorrow isn’t promised! See, a day before my mother passed...

From now on and forever, I am your Real Estate plug. I am a phone call away. (Photo credit: Google) In the famous words of my late father, or was it Mumsy who used to say it? Nah, it’s my dad, and the saying goes, “If your income is coming from two sources as a Nigerian, you’re a poor man." He didn’t lie. I’ve been liquid enough to snatch people’s girlfriends, and I have been so broke that a broke Bashiru that year called me broke. I know how it feels to have money and the shame of not having it; it’s quite easy for me to choose the one I’d want to identify with. See, there’s no pride in poverty. I am a chop life gang ambassador, and outside has proven to be too expensive for my current energy; however, I am not trying to cut down on my extravagance. I only want to be able to afford it, and I have stumbled on a great plan. I have studied people who have so much money that they don’t ever look at the price tag when shopping. The goal for them has always been to make way more tha...

This has been like a home recently but, the goal is to get stronger when it gets tougher. I'm fighting to win. (Photo credit: Ramsey's iPhone) I remember promising Bukky (formerly the Peridot of BR, now the Peridot of UK) that I'd write a lot this month; it definitely won’t be every day like I did last year, but I’ll try, and here you go. To start with, it’s been a tough year by all standards. Not sure there’s ever a year in which I felt half as much physical pain as this year; 2019 had the inglorious award until 2023 pulled up, and here’s me hoping I’ll never have to see a more painful year than this one. The past three weeks have been the toughest. I spent more days with the physiotherapists than at work, but I am probably the strongest human I know. I am not giving up anytime soon, but the pains better ease up before I do something crazy. Yesterday was the International Day of People Living with Disabilities. It should be a public holiday, but while I wasn’t physicall...