Why are we quick to encourage divorce?

 

Happy first wedding anniversary my people. One down, forever to go. (Photo credit: Adedimeji Lateef)

It’s my friends’ first wedding anniversary today and I’ll have to write about the marriage institution and how I feel about it right now. I remember talking about how much I dread divorce on this journey, I still do and I have enough reasons to be a lot more afraid.

I’m happy for a few celebrity marriages I have in my circle. Pamilerin Adegoke got married about a month ago now and I’m excited about him and Motun his wife; David walked the aisle with Sandra and Ebuka Bullet crossed seven seas to bring home his wife too, I’m super happy for my men.

However, why do we have homes breaking every day with folks eager to encourage couples to break up as e dey hot when they’re no longer enjoying it? I know I stand a risk of contradicting myself a bit but I’ll still go ahead and share my take. Take it from me, humans are fickle.

I remember I wrote about domestic violence and the fact that there’s no “for better for worse” in the bible but except there’s a case of violence and battery, I don’t accept the call for divorce at the sight of every argument; I’ll try to explain even though it’s a little hard.

I read of a couple that got divorced two weeks ago over bedroom lights. I know there’s likely to be more to it than that but the wife prefers the lights off in bed while the man wants light as he sleeps; how in God’s name did they get married without this being discussed?

And guess what? Twitter people, the emergency woke generation jumped on it and hailed the woman for asking for a divorce. Y’all be looking for perfect people when you can’t even guarantee perfection at your end. Marriage is supposed to be a two-way thing but only one person is making effort half the time.

You want someone that will cross oceans for you but you can’t cross the gutter for them. Marriage is a fusion of two people that have decided to intentionally make it work, when we remember that we’re wired to be flawed, we’ll give room for mistakes and a mansion for forgiveness.

There’s nothing that cannot be discussed. Sit your ass down and have that hard conversation and you’ll realize that the marriage isn’t as hellish as your coward self is making it. The tolerance threshold has gone to zero and the urge to blame your partner is the order of the day, we’re the problem, not the marriage institution.

I’m probably the most evasive human when it comes to confrontations and harsh conversations but I’m learning fast. Most divorcees are living miserably and wishing they can turn it around, the Twitter people that clapped them out of their homes are not living with misery, think twice before you follow their advice. Peace of the Lord be with you.

Congratulations Adedimeji Lateef and Adebimpe Omo Oba, stay happy my people. I love you and we turn up big after Asake concert tonight. See you soon my Gees.