Reality check - I am struggling...

 

I try my best to allow my muse to get me out of the dead end but maybe I need help, maybe I'm not healing well... (Photo credit: Soul Art)

In a way, I figure that people manage to find ways to evade mental health conversations until it eats deep and becomes nearly irredeemable. I am guilty of evasive style too, if you know me a bit, you’d be able to tell that I am not confrontational one bit, it has its demerits.

I’ve been feeling some type of way for a while and I’ve done enough to write about it a couple of times here; to be honest, a few people have been checking on me since the last time I wrote about struggling with something and I don’t take their genuine care for granted, it means a whole lot to me.

Last night was the trigger I needed to write this. I was in a conversation with my friend Damola and she hit some spots that I couldn’t deny. A lot has happened in the last few months that messed with my head and the worst kept secret, the fact that a public announcement and a hope of forever with someone ended in pain will always sink emotions.

Not like I saw my brothers daily before they left Nigeria for no man’s land but now that I can’t just see them whenever I want to also has its own contribution to the situation and ultimately, maybe I have not healed from my father’s passing. I know someone would say it’s been three years; it’s best I don’t reply to such stupid questions.

I’ve seen people take their own lives to end everything in the face of pains they cannot explain. I know we’ll see those kinds of people as cowards, I also know our religion doesn’t support suicide and I will never encourage it, I am a positive man that lives with everything with hope but, may life not give us more than we can deal.

The purpose of this post is to encourage people to speak up when they’re overwhelmed. Thank God for a working environment that allows me to be happy within the space; I don’t know where I’d be if my comfort zone was a toxic ground. I can’t thank God enough for the crazy folks around.

For those that are not lucky enough to have a working environment that takes the pressure off, I advise you to look around for alternatives. I won’t pay your bills but I also don’t want to see you sink into despair. Happiness is a choice as people say but what of when you don’t have the luxury of choice?

Mental health is more important than lots of things we adore, I have to do this again soon but whatever you do, walk away as fast and as far from things that make you second-guess yourself, things and people that make you feel like you’re not enough and situations that drain your happiness. Give yourself a chance to be on top. I’m taking the same advice too.

 

…To be continued