Thoughts of a frustrated man...

 

There are days we have to live with things we can't change, our attitude through it says a lot about the healing process... (Photo credit: Shutter Stock)

There are days like this that you question everything, confidence is low and it feels like the sun is shining elsewhere, then you wonder what happens to the clothes you have on the railings…

The weekend wasn’t the best, it was one hell of a lonely one and the pains that rose from waves that didn’t come from the seas made matters worse, I’m well and truly aware that everyday won’t speak your language no matter how many hours you spend on NLP or other prayer platforms, it is what it is…

It took a lot of bravery for me to choose to talk about this today. Yes, some level of frustrations fueled it but trust me, we hardly find reasons to talk about our individual challenges, beyond the fact that not everyone cares, we also sometimes feel it’s a general something so just keep yours together… right?

I’m a scoliosis patient, well it’s very obvious and I try to live above it but it’s been moving mad for a while now. It gulps money cos man’s gotta undergo therapies to manage the pains but omo… it’s harder than you can imagine.

Cut that pity-party nonsense, I’m not the kinda man you throw “sorry” at, just understand that when I snap sometimes, it’s most likely because I’m trying to contain pains. I think I’m doing a great job masking it and I should buy myself a drink or two in appreciation.

I was at the eye clinic earlier this morning, you’re wondering what’s wrong with my eyes shey? Well “awon challenges yen po gan” but as always, man’s gotta live above them; One man in his mid-40s as I imagined threw a scene and I’m sure he’s regretting it wherever he is now.

I was the first to get to the clinic, they make it a duty to attend to people in the order of arrival, dude was the 7th person that came but he wanted to be the first to see the specialist, he was politely told to wait and respect the order but he flared up like Chelsea fans on a bad day.

He was almost going to slap the lady that was attending to her, he kept screaming “I have your type at home” and the lady was quite polite, I think he was also looking for accomplices, weyrey was looking for eye contact so he can say “brother you too see”, mo ya look away…

I was called to go see the specialist, man didn’t stop talking about how they didn’t respect his age, that they could have considered the fact he’s older than I am (obviously) but no one answered him.

I came out of the consultation room and he was still ranting. He wasn’t so close to me but I could hear him clearly, he kept talking about how he rented an apartment in January, only for the government to seal the house in February for flimsy reasons…

He ranted about almost losing his vision and how things are expensive without salary increments. One old woman loudly shut him down, you know those grandmas with British accent, you could tell she’s not from Abule Egba, she went “Mr Man shut up, I lost my only son two days ago and I’m not being a nuisance here” … It was like someone was writing noise makers, the silence was deafening…

The attendant didn’t know how to call the next patient in when the person that went in after me came out, the atmosphere was awkward, the mama broke the silence but I wish I’d left, she narrated how she suffered on her son died due to gun violence in the US, our noisy friend was mute like a frozen screen.

The man learned first hand that people have stuff they’re going through and it’s not always only about you, the mama broke down badly and that must mean she bottled her pains all along and just needed somewhere to pour it.

I’ve been really quiet since that incident and in a way, one may have to hug his own pains. If the next person doesn’t talk, you might not know how lucky you are with your own issues.

I realize I’ve really deviated from what I planned to share, I’m not together and I know there are days like this, but I’m called Rambo for a reason, this gloom won’t be here tomorrow, take me like this today and be sure I’ll snap out of this before the stars go home tonight…

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